There is nothing greater than overcoming pride by being saturated in humility. I have realized my need for humiliation. I am very embarrassed. I have broken my own rules. No longer am I steadfast. I am realizing my own imperfection. Through this I am becoming stronger, mightier. Savage I am not, for my outer shell is that of a newborn lamb. In the quietness the lamb is filled with wisdom and energy, the commotion hovers and the lamb seeks its Source in trusting desperation. My mission is to love fully, disregarding the requests of my fallen nature.

The beast convinced me that I am wrong, that all of my wisdom is wrong, and that I must be attuned to my desires, inviting a spirit of gluttonous lust to direct me. The goodness that I had was tarnished. For I believed that those pursuing holiness could not be shaken by the heavy footsteps of the dark. Ignorance became prevalent, a blind road ahead without peace or sunlight, I felt the road crumbling beneath me. Winds were windier, colder, chapping my skin of which allowed tiny insecurities to seep into the pores and cracks. Respect for my innate wishes of purity were dehydrated. Not an ounce of energy left, a scream or cry for help deemed impossible. Those familiar gentle hands of tender remedy cradled me within, my weak limbs folded into fetal, I was nourished by the sweet milk of the Mother.

Rolled onto my knees, I peered over the ledge of these hands. Eyes closed tight, one leap and I was surrounded by air, my weakness invigorated with pure energy, Whoosh! Tossed into water, the coda of a brave jump. Enveloped by the elements composing my own being I was blithe, I worked with them to stay on the surface, and we moved together to the land. Tumbling onto the warm sand finding rest, the sun flowing into my mouth, lungs, heart, belly. My skin glowed, I walked around infecting the darkness with the endless energy of love, the earth rattled by a heartbeat.

Tears were no longer a fear, for they are a sweet nectar saturating the land with freedom. Freedom through tears caused by suffering! No longer am I afraid of suffering,

I am only afraid of the darkness which tries to overtake my light.

This is an apology, a request for pardon from the actions my body has manifested.

All that is within my heart, all that is within my mind, is shown through a collection of muscles bones and organs that move and produce sound. I cannot deny that my body was representing the truth. But the truth has changed.